Saturday, September 1, 2018

...He Kissed Me...

...Anxious...
...Nervous...
...Trembling...
...Sweating..
...No idea what to do...
...No time to ask...
...He's getting closer...
...He's done this before...
...I might throw up...
...And then...
...He's calming...
...And passionate...
...And intense...
...He's good at this...
...Addicting...
...And intoxicating...
...Do you remember?...
...I could never forget...
...My first kiss...
...And he...
...Would never forget...
...My lips...
...All these years later...
...I'm sure of this.
 
 
...Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...

Monday, August 27, 2018

...I am Me...


 
Be yourself...
...but...
...don't do that...
...don't say that...
...don't think that...
...don't wear that...
...don't feel like that...
...don't watch that...
...don't listen to that...
...don't touch that...
...don't like that...
...don't act like that...
...but...
...be yourself.
 
Fuck that...
...it's not for you to say who I am...
...it's for me to be me.
 
I traveled through madness...
...to find me...
...I like me....
...I enjoy me...
...I love me...
...I am ME.
 
Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...
 

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

...Eye Seduction...



This meeting is boring...
I'm trying to appear attentive...
Wait...
Something is calling me...
I don't hear it...
I feel it...
I look around...
Everyone is looking at the screen...
Except him...
He's across the room...
Looking at me...
My eyes stop at his eyes...
His eyes widen...
Noticeably excited that I heard his call...
Neither of us blinks...
His eyes smile seductively...
My eyes smile back...
He's bored too...
His eyes ask if I want to play...
Flirtatiously my eyes reply...
Yes, I do...
He is confident...
His eyes are intense...
He is looking through me...
Insisting that I let him in...
Come in...
Right here...
Surrounded by others...
The room is getting warm...
His eyes undress me...
My breathing changes...
His gaze penetrates my gaze...
Our eyes share intimacy...
Our eyes share secrets...
Our eyes share fantasies...
Without a word...
Without a touch...
The presentation is complete...
Just as the lights come on...
At the same time, together, we wink...
The meeting is adjourned.
 
Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

...I Am More Me...

I have outgrown many things...
...Staying silent about things that matter to me...
...Relatives who criticize but not support...
...The need to meet unrealistic expectations of me...
...Shrinking myself for fear of judgement...
...People that don't celebrate my accomplishments...
...Those that disappear when life gets dark...
...People who are only around when convenient or beneficial for them...
...Anyone who takes part in spreading gossip, hate or negativity...
...The insecurities from years of being told I was too much of this and not enough of that...
...Connections that don't evolve passed the past...
...Apologizing for how I feel, how I love and how I choose to live...
...Superficial attention, meaningless conversations and forced interactions...
...Being held hostage by time, routine, schedules or plans...
...Oh and my jeans, I've definitely outgrown my jeans...
...I have outgrown many people, places and things...
...and yet...
...I've never felt more free and more me.
 


Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...

Friday, July 27, 2018

...A Familiar Stranger...














There is something about you...
It seems familiar...
Have we been here before...
Is this dejavu...
I recognize your voice...
I remember your touch...
There's a familiar safety in your hug...
Have we been here before...
Your kiss tastes like memories...
Have we met here before...
or
Have our souls found their way back home.

...Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

...Breathe...















My heart is beating fast...
...things seem out of control...
...there are too many people around...
...my hands are sweating...
...my bubble seems too small...
...I can't catch my breath...
What do I do...

...Just Breathe...
...they said...
What the fuck...
...does that mean...
...I either breathe...
...or I die...
Not like that...
...Don't take breaths...

...BREATHE...

Life sometimes feels like...
...an obstacle course...
...a constant battle...
...an endless race...
But I am always...
...an inhale...
...and exhale away...
...from a calmer place...
Each time I breathe...
...I connect myself...
...to the universe...
...I quiet my mind...
...open my body...
...create an inner calm...

Breathe in...
Breathe out...
...BREATHE...

Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...


Michelle
Adrienne (Wrist missing in above picture)
Delores
Amy

...His Body Heat...

...My head is...
...on his chest...
...I hear it...
...faster...
...louder...
...harder...
...it's a heartbeat...
...but it's not his...
...the heartbeat...
...is mine.
...Is it from...
...the excitement....
...of his body being...
...perfect...
...and decorated...
...and beautiful.
...It is from...
...fear...
...fear of enjoying this moment...
...fear of the safety I feel in his arms...
...fear of feeling cold without his body heat...
...fear of the reality...
...that our connection is so perfect...
...and I'm perfect - at one thing...
...fucking shit up.

Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...

 
 
 
 
 


Sunday, April 22, 2018

...The Same Way...















He wants to talk...
...again...
This only occurs...
...when convenient...
...for him...
Or when...
...he's miserable...
...and restless...
...and unsatisfied...
...with the life...
...he settled for...
Or when...
...he has seen...
...me smiling...
...and laughing...
...and genuinely...
...at peace...
Or when...
...he misses...
...my name
...showing up...
...on his phone screen...
I miss you...
...he says...
Of course he does...
...I don't blame him...
...nor do I care...
I love you...
...and I always have...
...he says...
...as he reaches for me...
I pull my arm away...
...I have to go...
...and this is goodbye...
I watch his face...
...turn pale...
 ...as he realizes that...
...I mean it...
He's never heard...
 ...me say that before...
Does he love you...
...he asks...
He does...
That stuns him...
...realizing he's lost control...
But how can you know...
That's easy to answer...
...It's how he looks at me...
How is that...
...he wants to know...
As I get up ...
...to walk away...
...I look at him...
...one last time...
...and say..
...He looks at me...
...the same way...
...I used to...
...look at you.

Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...

Saturday, April 21, 2018

...My Safe Place...














I am in...
...total darkness...
I listen...
...complete silence...
...but, wait...
...I hear something...
...it is the sound of breathing...
...in and out, in and out...
Am I alone...
I focus on the sound...
...it's a familiar rhythm...
...I've heard it many times...
...it belongs to me...
I am in...
...total darkness...
...I can't move...
I have no control of...
...my senses...
...my body...
...my mind...
...my breathing...
It gets darker...
...my breathing is changing...
...faster and deeper...
...I'm almost gasping...
...the darkness is...
...suffocating me...
Did I hear something...
...am I hallucinating...
...is it sensory deprivation...
I focus on the sound...
...it's a voice...
It says...
...I am here...
...you are safe...
...now breathe...
I breathe...
I am comfortable...
...being uncomfortable...
I am not afraid...
...of the dark...
The darkness is...
...my...
...safe...
...place.

Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

...There They Were...















There they were...
Neither one sure...
...how they had...
...finally arrived...
...But...
...There they were...
Curiosity and Anticipation...
...replaced by...
...Excitement and Reality...
Are you ready to go in?...
...he asked...
Yes...
...she whispered...
He noticed that...
...her breathing had changed...
He held her hand...
Are you sure?...
...he questioned...
I am...
...she confirmed...
...nervously...
...holding her breath...
His deep blue eyes...
...filled with danger...
... and excitement...
Her big green eyes...
...nervous...
...but adventurous...
His voice commanding...
...yet comforting...
...as he says...
...It's time to go in...
...and...
...we will do this...
...together...
...but first...
...you must...
...do what I say...
What's that?...
...she asks...
LOOK AT ME...
...he demands...
...quickly she obeys...
He takes her...
...other hand...
...and says...
...calmly...
...and slowly...
...Now...
...I need you...
...to...
...BREATHE!!!


-Michelle Lynn-



...The Complete Me...














Some people have a fear...
...of looking deep within themselves...
The fear of finding something...
...they can't live with...
They deny a part of themselves...
... that makes them whole...
They not only hide from themselves...
...but from everyone else...
They fear judgement...
...and not fitting in...
But hiding something...
...does not make it disappear...


I have no fear of...
...what lives within me...
I don't only face it...
...I embrace it...
I don't deny...
...any part of me...
I don't pretend to be...
...anything I'm not...
I have nothing...
...to hide or prove...
I embrace...
...my inner shit...

This gives me...
...complete peace...
This gives me...
...complete freedom...
 Because of this...
...I know and love...
...the complete me...
...completely.

Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...

Sunday, April 8, 2018

...The Mind Noise...















It's 1:00 AM...
My mind is wandering...
Did that happen...
...two years ago...
...or...
...was that 2 days ago...
Maybe it will happen...
...2 weeks from now...
Do you hear it...
The Static...
The Chaos...
The Mind Noise...

It's 3:00 AM...
Was that 2 hours ago...
I don't know...
...but the mind noise...
...is gone...
And now...
...I hear...
...the voice...
Reminding me...
...of ghosts...
...and monsters...

I'm not sure...
...if it's coming from...
...my left shoulder...
...or my right...
Either way...
The Mind Noise...
...wins...
...again....
...Tonight.

Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...

...Opposite Directions Together...

 
 

She did not know...
...how to relationship...
...but knew a lot...
...of ways not to.
She had been...
...fucked over and...
...had fucked over.
She existed...
...behind a wall...
...and trusted...
...no one...
...especially not...
...herself.
He did not know...
...how to relationship.
He was...
...exhausted from playing...
...familiar games with...
...familiar faces.
He was...
...unsatisfied...
...and restless.
No one...
...trusted him.
He did not...
...trust himself.
They found themselves...
...alone...
...together...
...accidently...
...on purpose.
Familiar strangers.
He knew...
...her demons...
...and she...
...knew his.
They played...
...so well together...
...very, very well.
Friends...
...best friends.
Lovers...
...extreme lovers.
Intense pleasure...
...intense pain.
No secrets...
...no masks.
Perfection.
Until...
...distance came...
...between them.
The space...
...was dangerous...
...they craved...
...each other.
Their demons...
...fought hard....
...against each other.
Neither willing...
...to give in.
They were both...
...beaten up...
...broken...
...and worlds apart.
Defeated...
...they called a truce.
Nothing...
...would ever compare...
...to the pain...
...they felt...
...as they...
...walked away...
...in opposite directions...
...together.

Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...