...The Same Way...

He wants to talk...
...again...
This only occurs...
...when convenient...
...for him...
Or when...
...he's miserable...
...and restless...
...and unsatisfied...
...with the life...
...he settled for...
Or when...
...he has seen...
...me smiling...
...and laughing...
...and genuinely...
...at peace...
Or when...
...he misses...
...my name
...showing up...
...on his phone screen...
I miss you...
...he says...
Of course he does...
...I don't blame him...
...nor do I care...
I love you...
...and I always have...
...he says...
...as he reaches for me...
I pull my arm away...
...I have to go...
...and this is goodbye...
I watch his face...
...turn pale...
 ...as he realizes that...
...I mean it...
He's never heard...
 ...me say that before...
Does he love you...
...he asks...
He does...
That stuns him...
...realizing he's lost control...
But how can you know...
That's easy to answer...
...It's how he looks at me...
How is that...
...he wants to know...
As I get up ...
...to walk away...
...I look at him...
...one last time...
...and say..
...He looks at me...
...the same way...
...I used to...
...look at you.

Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...

...My Safe Place...

I am in...
...total darkness...
I listen...
...complete silence...
...but, wait...
...I hear something...
...it is the sound of breathing...
...in and out, in and out...
Am I alone...
I focus on the sound...
...it's a familiar rhythm...
...I've heard it many times...
...it belongs to me...
I am in...
...total darkness...
...I can't move...
I have no control of...
...my senses...
...my body...
...my mind...
...my breathing...
It gets darker...
...my breathing is changing...
...faster and deeper...
...I'm almost gasping...
...the darkness is...
...suffocating me...
Did I hear something...
...am I hallucinating...
...is it sensory deprivation...
I focus on the sound...
...it's a voice...
It says...
...I am here...
...you are safe...
...now breathe...
I breathe...
I am comfortable...
...being uncomfortable...
I am not afraid...
...of the dark...
The darkness is...
...my...
...safe...
...place.

Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...

...There They Were...

There they were...
Neither one sure...
...how they had...
...finally arrived...
...But...
...There they were...
Curiosity and Anticipation...
...replaced by...
...Excitement and Reality...
Are you ready to go in?...
...he asked...
Yes...
...she whispered...
He noticed that...
...her breathing had changed...
He held her hand...
Are you sure?...
...he questioned...
I am...
...she confirmed...
...nervously...
...holding her breath...
His deep blue eyes...
...filled with danger...
... and excitement...
Her big green eyes...
...nervous...
...but adventurous...
His voice commanding...
...yet comforting...
...as he says...
...It's time to go in...
...and...
...we will do this...
...together...
...but first...
...you must...
...do what I say...
What's that?...
...she asks...
LOOK AT ME...
...he demands...
...quickly she obeys...
He takes her...
...other hand...
...and says...
...calmly...
...and slowly...
...Now...
...I need you...
...to...
...BREATHE!!!


-Michelle Lynn-

...The Complete Me...

Some people have a fear...
...of looking deep within themselves...
The fear of finding something...
...they can't live with...
They deny a part of themselves...
... that makes them whole...
They not only hide from themselves...
...but from everyone else...
They fear judgement...
...and not fitting in...
But hiding something...
...does not make it disappear...


I have no fear of...
...what lives within me...
I don't only face it...
...I embrace it...
I don't deny...
...any part of me...
I don't pretend to be...
...anything I'm not...
I have nothing...
...to hide or prove...
I embrace...
...my inner shit...

This gives me...
...complete peace...
This gives me...
...complete freedom...
 Because of this...
...I know and love...
...the complete me...
...completely.

Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...

...The Mind Noise...

It's 1:00 AM...
My mind is wandering...
Did that happen...
...two years ago...
...or...
...was that 2 days ago...
Maybe it will happen...
...2 weeks from now...
Do you hear it...
The Static...
The Chaos...
The Mind Noise...

It's 3:00 AM...
Was that 2 hours ago...
I don't know...
...but the mind noise...
...is gone...
And now...
...I hear...
...the voice...
Reminding me...
...of ghosts...
...and monsters...

I'm not sure...
...if it's coming from...
...my left shoulder...
...or my right...
Either way...
The Mind Noise...
...wins...
...again....
...Tonight.

Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...

...Opposite Directions Together...

 

 

She did not know...
...how to relationship...
...but knew a lot...
...of ways not to.
She had been...
...fucked over and...
...had fucked over.
She existed...
...behind a wall...
...and trusted...
...no one...
...especially not...
...herself.
He did not know...
...how to relationship.
He was...
...exhausted from playing...
...familiar games with...
...familiar faces.
He was...
...unsatisfied...
...and restless.
No one...
...trusted him.
He did not...
...trust himself.
They found themselves...
...alone...
...together...
...accidently...
...on purpose.
Familiar strangers.
He knew...
...her demons...
...and she...
...knew his.
They played...
...so well together...
...very, very well.
Friends...
...best friends.
Lovers...
...extreme lovers.
Intense pleasure...
...intense pain.
No secrets...
...no masks.
Perfection.
Until...
...distance came...
...between them.
The space...
...was dangerous...
...they craved...
...each other.
Their demons...
...fought hard....
...against each other.
Neither willing...
...to give in.
They were both...
...beaten up...
...broken...
...and worlds apart.
Defeated...
...they called a truce.
Nothing...
...would ever compare...
...to the pain...
...they felt...
...as they...
...walked away...
...in opposite directions...
...together.

Breathe...
...Michelle Lynn...